One Reason I'll Never Be Cool

Piper and Kate are watching a music video. They are calm. Serene. Normal.

Piper: Oh look, the Black Eyed Peas.

Me: I wonder how that group got together. Were they all sitting around and someone said, "Hey, we all like to... not sing. Let's all not sing together"?
Piper: Ha. Yeah...

(Pause)

Me: I must...
Piper: Don't say it...
Me: I just, I need... I want to...
Piper: No... No, Kate!
Me: I must research this!

Kate types furiously at her computer, searching for information about The Black Eyed Peas.

...

Didn't I learn anything from 80's John Hughes movies? Every cool kid knows that it's not cool to know things.

I'm doomed. Doomed to a life as the nerdy "know-it-all."